first

It was freezing in the morning, and I managed to rip a tiny hole in my stockings that morning. Luckily the ripped hole disappeared into the heel of my black formal pumps. I did not have an extra pair with me then (I do now!).

I made it to the hospital about a half hour early. Walked in with my (heavy) bag, up to the lady at the front desk. Asked for directions. Wandered around the cafeteria and the restrooms for a while before coming BACK to ask for directions again, and then finally made it upstairs to the Dept of Medicine conference hall.

9 other applicants trickled in one by one, all of them preliminary applicants. Breakfast was laid out on a table at the back: Bagels, croissants, coffee, tea, juice, tea, fruit. All of us were dressed in dark power suits. The girls in heels and power jewelry, with coiffed hair. For about 80% of us it was the first interview, our introduction to the interview trail.

We attended the morning conference with the residents and the faculty. The interaction between the residents seemed friendly and supportive. There was no evidence of bullying, no undue pressure. Everyone seemed relaxed and tried to 'learn' and contribute.

After this session, the PD introduced herself and the program to us through a short slide show. Everything they mentioned on their website seemed true.

I was interviewed by the chairman. He seemed relaxed, and opened with a few of the regular questions: Tell me about yourself, strengths and weaknesses, tell me about a memorable patient. Tell me what your future plans are. How do you relax, what do you do outside of medicine. I feel like I could have answered his questions better and I am going to spend a lot of time working on this before my next interview. I felt I didn't make the most of this encounter, that my answers weren't personal enough, they didn't show him enough about me as a person. Another thing to work on.

After my one-on-one interview we plunged right into a group session with the PD and a bunch of applicants. I was slightly apprehensive about this, I felt like I was expected to dominate the room and to make sure I performed better than the others in the room.

When the session started, the PD told us that she'd ask us some questions and that whoever was ready first could answer and that everyone would be given the opportunity to speak. I felt a little more prepared and confident by this time, and I felt my group session went much better than my one on one. We were asked interesting questions: If you could have dinner with someone, anyone. dead or alive, who would you pick and why. Tell me about a patient you went out of your way for. Biggest fear about starting residency training.

A few questions that I asked to the faculty were regarding resident autonomy and supervision, opportunities for teaching and opportunities for resident feedback.
We received a tour of the hospital and we also had time to spend with the residents to ask them questions. They were welcoming and coincidentally both were Indian.

PROS:
-2 months ICU (8 weeks)
-CREATURE COMFORTS: pleasant working environment, great camaraderie, residents seemed nice, resident rooms nice, cafeteria was good
-Glidescope training for first year residents too!
-great research opportunities for anesthesia, working with EMTs and JH faculty/researchers
- Running codes: residents are allowed to lead codes if they take interest
-lots of geriatrics exposure: the nearby retirement communities usually come here for care. Lots of premorbid illnesses to optimize!
-Anesthesia elective available, so that I'm not completely at sea once I leave to start CA-1 at another location
-DIVERSITY
-Always have an attending available at night
-Cardio experience: EKG training. No fellows!
-Flexible electives, PD willing to design one based on my preferences
-ADMIN TRAINING: HUGE PLUS. Didactics, Cases discussed with their budgeting, Accountable care org information, nitty gritties of insurance.
-287 beds, full service hospital
-ED divided into chestpain/stroke/pediatric/urgent care
-long tradition of teaching: I really feel like this place is committed to teaching. Everyone I spoke to (Chairman, PD, residents) stressed over and over that they enjoy the teaching aspect.
-H1B offered
-PGY1 $48,000
-Renting nearby 1B range per month  $1815-$850
-Research is not mandatory
-Opportunities to teach during residency
-Baltimore seems like an OK place to live

CONS:
-Resident said: busy busy program, 'I wish we had 28 hours in a day'
-No transplants/open heart cases
-No away electives at JH for first year residents :(
-Will need a car!
-Lots of crime in the area (hearsay)

Baltimore

2 days before my first interview. Its a community program in the city. I still feel completely unprepared but with a few hours of effort on my part today, I think I will be okay!

Once I'm done with the stressful part of Friday, I have really fun weekend plans: Getting on the Amtrak to DC and then chilling with two friends from med school. The weekend should allow me to relax and re-calibrate. Connecting with FRIENDS who are experiencing the interview trail is the best way to deal with stress.
However spending too much time with other people that are not close friends can lead to a lot of anxiety and panic.

It is getting really cold here...quite unpleasant, since I am parka-less at the moment. Surviving on layers: sweaters, thermals and a light coat. Oh well. I think of  what Chicago was like back in February and that makes me feel warm :D

Newark Liberty International Airport, and New Jersey

First Day:

So I'm here... It is beautiful: The trees are changing color and this house is surrounded with bright reds and golds and warm looking browns.
It's nippy and chilly, but not uncomfortably cold yet. There's time for that still.

I managed to get a few hours of sleep on the planes but it was nowhere near enough. Extremely sleep deprived. Stayed up past 9pm, trying to adjust my circadian rhythm.

CIRCADIAN RHYTHM, to fix
-Wake up before noon
-Exercise
-Use Modafinil if necessary
-Be productive all day so I'm sleepy by nightfall

PLANS FOR TOMORROW
-Reorganize the three bags, adjust for the weather, pack to leave for Baltimore in a few days (first interview!!)
-Call and speak to everyone I know in the US
-Research the Baltimore program that I'm interviewing at
-Figure out when to leave for Baltimore

It scares me that I have less than a week to prepare for my first potentially life changing interview. It is a lot of pressure.

Airport. Delhi.

My thoughts are scattered, and I look forward to the next 20 odd hours of 'alone'ness because it will give me a chance to re-calibrate, to prepare for what is ahead of me.

As usual, an odd feeling of calm overtakes me once the contents of my life have once again been packed into 2 suitcases and a backpack. Somehow everything feels a little more do able. How hard can it be, if I just have to take care of myself and my 3 bags?

I am going back to the space and the orderliness of a first world country, and a big part of me is looking forward to it. I cannot muster up the same enthusiasm that possessed me the last time I did this.

This is a disconnected post, because that is exactly how I'm feeling right now. I am going to take a deep breath and smile. And then eat the sliced up pear that mom packed for me, it's dripping with love and support and hopes and dreams.

I'll write when I get to New Jersey. The Brussels airport (my layover) does not have free wifi.

One week to my first interview.

But tonight I'm going to relax into the airplane seat, get a drink, sink into some awesome (new) music on my iPod.

One foot in front of the other

In about 20 hours I will be on a flight to Newark. 

This is going to be my second trip out of India, and ironically I don't feel as confident as I did before my first ever trip (January 2013).

The last few weeks have been crazy: Residency applications, scheduling interviews, packing. Thinking about it tires me out. Thinking about the next three months tires me out more. I am already certain that the next three months are going to be the toughest as well as the most crucial months of my life. The pressure has been building over the last few years, and what I am experiencing now is the zenith of its power. 

This is the final stretch of effort towards my goal, and I am fighting to stay positive and keep my spirits up. It has been impossible to find time for myself and for my close friends/family, and I am flooded with a sense of intense guilt as I prepare to fly away from home once again. 

I wish I had more time to show my parents how much I love them, and how much I appreciate the way they have always supported my goals. I feel like crying when I look into their eyes: I'm already missing them. I am overpowered by feelings of loss. But the guilt is stronger. 

A million things still remain to get done, and I am going to try to get some sleep (in my own bed) before tackling my last day at home. 

Good luck to everyone on the interview trail!